Monday, April 18, 2011

i got nothing. that's okay right?

i have thought a lot about the blog today. mostly how it's monday and i should probably post something because i haven't since friday. i tried. i forced it. i even have a few posts saved in my drafts that will maybe appear tomorrow or wednesday. it all just felt a little lame today. so i decided not to try and make something out of nothing. i really do not have anything real exciting to share today and i think that is okay. things have felt so busy for me. they are not that busy so i am not sure what my deal is. i mean once ava is in bed i have had time to do stuff. but for some reason my days have felt like they were a little too much for me. but we all feel that way so i know i am not special. i get that. maybe its more about my heart and less about being "busy." i just feel like for today i got nothing real special to say or to offer anyone who reads this blog. sorry about that. i hope to bounce back soon. maybe tomorrow.

the whole blog thing is funny. its started to keep family and friends informed about cancer. and then a few other people started reading it. which is cool. and now even more people read it. which is even cooler. i love it. but i think sometimes it messes with my head. i mean i know i am not famous or that big of deal. trust me i know that. really. but i do think i sometimes feel like i am supposed to share something real insightful and deep and exciting so people will continue to want to read and share in our story. in one way or another. so if i write lame stuff people might begin to hate it and stop reading. its less about "supposed to" and more that i want it to be something that matters. not just post something for the sake of posting something. sorry that this might be the most boring post ever to exist on dwyc. you like that. how i just used the first letters. first time for everything. i changed the font to italics because its a little side note in the midst of the post. back to normal now. but i am just feeling really tired and since i do not have cancer anymore i can not blame it on that. i guess i am just normal mom tired. i never want to put anything on this blog that does feel like me. so i decided not to share my few other attempts at a blog post today. although i almost pressed publish post like ten times today. instead i will share my thoughts about the blog and how sometimes its okay that i really do not have anything to say. even though i know i do. its just not coming together so i will stop trying for today.

instead i will sit on our back porch and read my book for a little bit because ava is sleeping. actually she is not sleeping. she is exhausted and crabby and has been rubbing her eyes since 6pm. but that girl is still in her crib rolling around and singing old mcdonald. why? just go to sleep little girl. i will never understand why children fight sleep. i love ava. if you know me or know justin or if you read this blog you know how deep our love for ava is. but she is one active little girl and she is wearing me out.

maybe later on tonight i will see what is on bravo. i like bethenny frankel what can i say. please do not judge me.

enjoy your monday evening. its seriously beautiful here in chesapeake.



15 comments:

  1. I like reading your boring posts. Because as inspiring and amazing as your posts were during cancer, I love being reminded that your life is more "boring" now because you don't have cancer. And that is so sweet :) Also, I love Bethenny too. She's funny. Love you Lib.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love betheny too. I have the chance to meet her and Jason at a bottle signing for skinny margarita.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's okay that you are living life and you don't have something to blog about. It's also okay to be tired and not to have cancer to blame it on. Your poor body went through so much while you were still being a Mommy, Wife, Daughter, Sister and so on. Enjoy life and blog when you feel like it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wish we could hang out tonight because I love watching Betheny too. =) Miss you.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No biggie on not having anything major or earth shattering to share....life sometimes is just that, life. And boring and normal are ok...in fact they can be great. So enjoy the normal, the uninspired and know it's cool :) Also, please update on your mom - I think the biopsy is coming up pretty soon? XO our prayers are with her!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. you are not alone my friend. i love me some bethenny too :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. So funny that you mentioned liking Bethenny! I watched her show for the first time last week and turned to my husband and said 'I like her. I like her a lot'. So weird because I expected to dislike her....
    Side note: I love your blog. I even love this random post and can completely identify with the feelings of exhaustion and days when you feel like you just have nothing left to give.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Some days are just like that...I PTL that you can have some 'boring' days now! Boring=Healthy :) Your blog is great! Very real...perfect. Enjoy your book, the views from your porch, Ava & Justin. I'm going to watch me some Bethenny tomorrow...too busy putting my craft room together tonight, so I DVR'd it. Yeah for dvr's!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Libby~ I finished chemo almost a month ago and I am MORE tired now than I was during treatment!! I think our bodies are just doing massive amounts of cleanup after the drugs. We're supposed to be tired, bambinos or no bambinos! (I have an almost 6 month old so at least he's not mobile like Ava!)

    ReplyDelete
  10. love the dwyc, i am liking that your post have humor in them now. keep up the great work you are doing with your blog, no need to force anything. sometimes things are deep and meaningful and sometimes there not so much. we will be here supporting your through it all.

    ReplyDelete
  11. its ok to have posts like this and thank you for sharing your feelings, thats truth & its appreciated

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lib, I love bethenny.. so you are not judged. Its so stinkin funny. Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Can't figure out why, but she fascinates me, also. Oh well, ...

    ReplyDelete
  14. Please don't feel like you have to have something great or wonderful to say...
    Carley

    ReplyDelete
  15. even your nothing to post posts are worth reading (; a lot of us will still be here, no matter how long ib between postings! (;

    ReplyDelete

i read every comment. so please leave one. i love it.