Sunday, August 1, 2010
thursday july 30, 2010
today is the worst day yet. before today i really did have a good attitude. i did not want to "go there" in my head yet about what is to come. what type, stage, chemo, and radiation. i was in my pajamas all day. i napped when ava napped. justin has been wonderful. he is so willing to serve me and do whatever i ask. yesterday he spent the entire day doing landscaping outside. the yard needed it, but i also think it was good for him to be distracted. today i spent time researching lymphoma. not to scare myself, but to educate us before our appt tomorrow. these past two days have been a nice break from seeing doctors. i called my dr today and found out that there would be no biopsy scheduled until my oncologist made the appointment. i spent a lot of time on the phone with my sisters and mom today as we planned when they would all be coming in to see us. our good friends are letting us use their beach house in the outer banks for a week or so and if it works with dr appts and stuff my family will be going there. its great. its nice and big and it will fit everyone. i really want to be there and relax and get away for a bit. we will see if it works out that way. my parents live in wa so they are across the country. that is hard. they are coming in a week or so too. later today justin's dad is arriving from ky. that will be great for justin i think. me too but for sure him. and ava can see her "pop pop." i started crying real hard today and asked my sister and law to come this weekend. it was a decision based solely on emotion. so they are coming tomorrow night. it will be nice to have family in town. ted and justin make dinner and its great. right after dinner my left legs starts to hurt terribly. so i take some medicine and try to sleep. the pain is awful. today was a bad day. today it all seemed a little more real.