Monday, August 2, 2010

monday august 2, 2010

its been a week. feels more like a year. you hear people say that, but really it does. crazy how in one small instant everything changes. justin and i talked about that a lot last week once we found out. you think about "what if the worst happened..." and then it does and its still just the three of us doing our thing. the same God that gave us our precious ava is the same God that gave me cancer.

today is a good day. since we were all supposed to be in NY at a yl camp for the month of august but clearly now we aren't we have some time on our hands. i love justin being home. i wish he never had to go back to work. the doorbell rang this morning and the nice ups man left me a package. i love mail. but who doesn't you know. its special when someone took the time to first off write you card or buy you something, then get a stamp, a box, maybe wrap the present, go to the post office, wait in line, and pay to mail it to you. made me smile. it was from two of my best friends from college. it was perfect. the family i babysit for brought over a meal and some gift cards. we love to eat out. its amazing when you can tangibly feel people loving you. its the community of Christ i mentioned before. like i said its real.

ava is my saving grace. she is so precious and so easy to care for. she sleeps great, she smiles, she likes formula since i can't nurse her and she loves applesauce. her first tooth is coming in. on the bottom right. she is tough because she is not acting whiny about her new tooth. ava is a gift because she gives me the best reason to get out of bed when its sometimes easier not to. i am thankful for that. i do not want to get depressed. not yet. people keep telling me i am strong. two things about that, ok three things. 1. when i am weak, HE is strong. 2. thanks for the compliment however. 3. you would be strong too if it were you and you were not relying on yourself but Jesus. we do not put our hope in anything else. you cant. if you do i promise it will fail you. like all the doctors we are working with. our hope can't be in them, since they are just people, hopefully smarter than your average person, but still just a man. also, when talking to my parents or my sisters i think its just hard for them because they feel helpless and want to see me. but please believe me when i say, today is really a good day and lets be thankful for that.

one thing that is hard for me still is that i am not really ready to see people yet. i may feel different in an hour, but i am just not sure i can handle it. so for those of you reading this in chesapeake...i do love you and i am not trying to be like this, i just think i need a minute. but i am beyond thankful for the thousands of people praying, sending texts, emails, cards, and bringing meals, etc. we are so thankful.


  1. Libby,

    I met you at your baby shower at Marie's house. You and your family are in my prayers.

  2. libby and ryder,

    faithfully praying for you and your family.

    (summer staff at rockbridge and part of your young life family in chicago)

  3. Praying for you, Ryder, and your sweet Ava.

  4. love you to pieces. i'm so thankful today was a good day. prayers for you, ryde & ava flood my mind constantly. i know the Lord is GOOD!

  5. Libby & family,

    I am one of those people who have never met you, but I am praying for you to our Mighty Jesus! I can't stop crying as I read your blog, because I am a YL leader in NKY, I am 25, I also have a sweet baby girl (Lyla Noelle) & an awesome hubby. I don't like that you are in pain... but I thank you for sharing your story and making me stop, slow down, and humble myself before the Lord. I was a oncology RN for a few years and the patients and families who trusted in the Lord impacted the hospital staff, they will know you are His. I can only imagine how much God will use your story that He is writing to further His Kingdom. Thank you again for reminding me that life is so precious, Kerry Gautraud

  6. Libby & Justin,

    Our family will be praying for your family... Praying for physical & emotional strength... Praying for patience ... Praying for God's healing power!! We are right around the corner, so please please reach out if we can help, or if you just need someone to watch over your precious Ava.

    The Chappell Family

    Tricia, Chip & Katherine "Kat"

  7. You're so amazing and strong, Libby. Ava will know that she has a strong mommy some day and that her mom has impacted so many lives-including mine. Love, miss, and am praying harder for you than I ever have before.


  8. Dear Libby, Justin and little Ava,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to share your heart, mind, soul and purpose through this site. What an incredible testimony of your faith and such a powerful message to all. As a friend, it is hard, awkward, scary to think what you two must be going through, but this blog opens my mind to your needs, fears and amazing LOVE. I do know the gracious, powerful, and loving Lord is taking care of each of you in his way. I continue to pray for your peace, knowledge, comfort and healing in these days. I pray the biopsy site does not cause much pain and your treatment becomes evident quickly. I sounds like you are in some very good physician hands and they are moving you through the steps so swiftly. Praise the Lord! God Bless you each day and may tonight bring you restful sleep. Love to both of you. Debbie & Lee Sawyer

  9. we are someone that doesn't know you, a friend shared the link to your blog on their page. thank you for sharing your story. just wanted to say remember when we are weak, our God is strong. praying for you and your family. Nothing is too big for our God.
    ~ The Smith family


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